Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
