Yo dont text me then not text me
I want to make a zoo with you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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