these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
