I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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