dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
