that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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