I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
