im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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