you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
