yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
