wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
