True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
