She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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