YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
