Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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