I just made out with a guy for $7.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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