A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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