just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
