We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize