if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
