I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
