i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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