in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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