My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
