So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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