So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
