Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
