wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
