If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My ass is underappreciated
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
