Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
