Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
