Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
