She is in my trunk
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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