it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
