By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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