Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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