Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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