Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
