Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
