your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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