Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
