He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize