There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Your tits are I can't wait for
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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