is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize