Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
