On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
