I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
