so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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