i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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