Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
