i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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