That's intense
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
