Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We left an ass print on the piano.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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