i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
