I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
