i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
