Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
