He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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