Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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