Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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