I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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