dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Randomize
