Its about making memories worth repressing
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money