I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
