is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
