did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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